A million reasons

Today has been tough.

I started the day with every muscle of my body willing to make it worth it. To make it a good day.

I quite thought I’d make it till 3 pm.

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, I got everything pushing on my nerves. Then suddenly I remembered each and everything that is not okay.

So I wanted to cry, and I decided to postpone it till I go back home.

Now, I’m at home, with all the right circumstances to cry, but I cannot. And it drives me crazy to realize it. But I think I’ve managed to suppress my feelings well enough that I cannot let them out anymore. And it scares me. If I continued like this I might as well blow up suddenly.

So here I admit it all. I do not feel okay. I try to stay positive most of the time now, but I admit I am not an all positive. I would even admit that when I had the urgent feeling to write this blog, my words were much better articulated in my mind that on the keyboard taps.

I wanted to write many angry things, yell a lot and blame you for everything.

But the truth is… it’s not worth it. Not anymore.

I’ve got a hundred million reasons to walk away
But baby, I just need one good one to stay

That’s the thing about music. A song that taps on one spot you didn’t know it exists, and it leaves you shaken.

One thing I know… I won’t hate music because of him. It’s one of the things that I would continue to fight for it, alone.

14 June – #Dark

I realize now how absurd it must have become that I keep quoting song names and lyrics in each blog post. I think it’s my attempt to try & express my ideas.

I started liking the idea of creating an alter ego that represents one side of your personality. I’m gonna have to create one but I’m yet to find their name.

So far, I have compiled  a list  of artists who are singing to the dark twisty alter ego of mine:

Continue reading “14 June – #Dark”