12 June – #StressedOut

Sorry I wasn’t updating my blog regularly as promised. Lots of events were happening and I wanted to take my time before reflecting on them.

I can definitely say that till mid 2016, I was having one of the toughest times of my life so far. Adulthood was sucking the life out of me. Was surrounded by materialism, hypocrisy, jealousy, anger and misunderstandings. Many factors had an impact in me collapsing by mid April.

I have made some decisions this last month. Decisions which I hope will transform the next half of the year. Being solo doesn’t scare me much now, knowing that I won’t be as alone as I would think. Taking care of my own self is the priority now. One of many steps needed to wake up and rise again.

Probably you have read this hundreds of times before. When I was a little girl, I was longing to be older and gain the respect I want. I would always behave like older people and I did not care much about enjoying my teenage years (didn’t have much choice in it honestly). Now that’s you stepping in the shit of adulthood with each step you take, you honestly wish you can go back whenever you want. Imagine if  there is this  button that takes you back to any year of your life… where you can shelter from today’s life decisions in the past.

This existential crisis phase is bullshit. It’s excruciatingly  tiring.

I only now wish to sleep with happy thoughts.




Hugging my little sibling got me calmer…

So how to put this delicately?

This new blog is dedicated to the current me. The inconfident, lost, grumpy, whiny girl who cannot grasp how fast she changed. Sometimes I ask myself if the 18 year old version of me would love the new version or not. I do not think she’ll be impressed by me at the moment honestly. But this blog’s objective is to document the phase when I’m taking more steps in trying to regain myself, my passion, my love, and my capacity for empathy and for caring for people.

I’ll gain it back. Just one step at a time.