I started the day with every muscle of my body willing to make it worth it. To make it a good day.
I quite thought I’d make it till 3 pm.
Then suddenly, out of nowhere, I got everything pushing on my nerves. Then suddenly I remembered each and everything that is not okay.
So I wanted to cry, and I decided to postpone it till I go back home.
Now, I’m at home, with all the right circumstances to cry, but I cannot. And it drives me crazy to realize it. But I think I’ve managed to suppress my feelings well enough that I cannot let them out anymore. And it scares me. If I continued like this I might as well blow up suddenly.
So here I admit it all. I do not feel okay. I try to stay positive most of the time now, but I admit I am not an all positive. I would even admit that when I had the urgent feeling to write this blog, my words were much better articulated in my mind that on the keyboard taps.
I wanted to write many angry things, yell a lot and blame you for everything.
But the truth is… it’s not worth it. Not anymore.
I’ve got a hundred million reasons to walk away
But baby, I just need one good one to stay
That’s the thing about music. A song that taps on one spot you didn’t know it exists, and it leaves you shaken.
One thing I know… I won’t hate music because of him. It’s one of the things that I would continue to fight for it, alone.
I discovered a new artist. Loving his songs so far although they hit on all your soft spots, and I don’t need that right now.
But anyways, give these two songs a lesson:
This is my sermon..
But this is my sermon fest that I’m emotionally drained
Self-medicating hoping I can cope with the pain
I need a face cause that’ll fix whatever’s broke in my brain
Who am I kidding, no I’m going insane
I wrote some quotes on this page, just trying to reach you in a hope you were late
Well I’ll probably just throw them away
Cause I don’t know what to say
I feel weak when I’m supposed to be brave
I seem free but I’m enclosed in a cage
Though I continue to ponder over the plastic
And I ain’t gonna do any better
Do I whimper from the future, and buckle under the pressure
Or do I step to the plate, and gon’ take the chance with my life
Come face to face with the darkness so I can stand in the light
Not gonna lie to you. It’s a bit confusing when trying to get up again on your feet. You will need first to figure out who you were before… In an attempt to restore a sense of who I was and what used to make me happy, I decided to browse my music lists!