The pursuit of empathy…

I’m lovin’ this!!

The nagging urge of swirling thoughts in one’s minds.. thoughts that demand to be blogged.

How I missed this! Since I started this new blog and stopped writing on “Salma Asks“, I recall chasing this feeling for the past two years… the feeling of having to stop everything to JUST WRITE WHAT’S GOING ON.

I realize that I have complained about this in  “Outrageous”, “Bla bla.”, “Happy Ending“, “I’m Good”, “29 April“, “18 مايو – شئ سخيف“, “#Truce”, “On hope“… basically, I have been complaining about it in most of my public and private blog posts.

Got distracted for an hour or two (plus a whole day at work later) while reading these blog posts. Now back to what I wanted to write, even if it might not be as promising as when I had it in my mind.

Wish one time I would stop starting my post with doubts and low self-esteem.


So, I realize that once you open up again to the world, and let go gradually of all the pile of suppressed negative feelings, you start to connect again with yourself.

Again, it’s both scary and promising.

The promise part is that you’re regaining your empathy. A word I always connect to and feel. Something that once upon a time, I was very proud to have, and I worked hard everyday to develop.

They call it the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. I relate to it as to imagine what it is like to walk in somebody else’s shoes, and try to live that in your mind. Life has been stripping this away from me, but I’m slowly regaining it.

And here comes the scary part. It comes with caring. And caring, most of the time… is very painful.

“I’ll never stop caring. But the thing about caring is, it’s inconvenient. Sometimes you’ve got to give when it makes no sense to at all. Sometimes you’ve got to give until it hurts.”
Jonathan Evison, The Revised Fundamentals of Caregiving

Yesterday I came across an interesting example. I was communicating with two different friends yesterday. When I mentioned each one to the other, they said they don’t like the other much, and gave me a very different outlook on the other one from what I see.

It got me thinking.. yes this life in this society that fights whoever is different, is quite challenging and consuming. But should one be only friends with those who shares the same perspective as them on everything?

If you only live in your limited closed bubble of friends who think and talk like you, then how will you be able to gain some critical thinking on anything? When will you start doubting your opinions and consider other possibilities?

I believe that in order to continue growing, one has to have some friends with completely different way of thinking, in order to challenge them and gets them to think outside their own box.

tumblr_o4wbhtR1ct1smipnlo1_500.png
by maka_smirnova

Everyday I come across different stories. I try to listen, to relate and to give sympathy when I can. There are times when I don’t succeed. Sometimes I’m too hasty to make a judgement. When that happens I often feel guilty, and I ought to be.

But then, who I am to say that I never judge? In a community like ours it’s easy to judge what you don’t understand, and to let the social upbringing process dictate how to react to different situations.

Oh how I wish if people would take the time to listen, to challenge their preconceived notions and to be curious about the other. I wish that people would give a chance for differences and to appreciate that each one can be unique in their own weird quirky way.

And here comes the usual conflict between the realistic and the idealistic.

I’m not sure if humanity can ever change, but I have hope.

In the darkest times, hope can be the only exit. Right?


Featured Image:

The Artifact by Fintan Magee, in Bogotá, Colombia. (original picture). In better quality. More about Fintan Magee: || Website || Instagram|| Facebook ||

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