A million reasons

Today has been tough.

I started the day with every muscle of my body willing to make it worth it. To make it a good day.

I quite thought I’d make it till 3 pm.

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, I got everything pushing on my nerves. Then suddenly I remembered each and everything that is not okay.

So I wanted to cry, and I decided to postpone it till I go back home.

Now, I’m at home, with all the right circumstances to cry, but I cannot. And it drives me crazy to realize it. But I think I’ve managed to suppress my feelings well enough that I cannot let them out anymore. And it scares me. If I continued like this I might as well blow up suddenly.

So here I admit it all. I do not feel okay. I try to stay positive most of the time now, but I admit I am not an all positive. I would even admit that when I had the urgent feeling to write this blog, my words were much better articulated in my mind that on the keyboard taps.

I wanted to write many angry things, yell a lot and blame you for everything.

But the truth is… it’s not worth it. Not anymore.

I’ve got a hundred million reasons to walk away
But baby, I just need one good one to stay

That’s the thing about music. A song that taps on one spot you didn’t know it exists, and it leaves you shaken.

One thing I know… I won’t hate music because of him. It’s one of the things that I would continue to fight for it, alone.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s