I suck at this!
Feels like I’m learning how to write from scratch! Yet I promised myself to try hard.. so here I am trying.
I spent the day watching movies and playing this “Aliens Drive Me Crazy”. I got addicted to this stupid game. And now I started watching “The Office” season 1. I think John Krasinski is very very cute.
Anyways, note to self, I need to start planning how to make more use of my time while I’m not working. And I need to stop worrying about everything. It’s crazy not to, but in order to get anything done, one needs to work on doing more than talking about stuff.
Sharing this song because it reminds me of good memories, and also reminds me how I miss you, and how you made me feel and relate to all the cheesy love songs I used to like 🙂
It’s 1:35 am. I’m dying to write this blog post since I was at the office. Too many mixed feelings swirling my mind & heart with little time to focus on the important stuff. I’m too tired and sleepy yet I keep going. I promised myself I’d come back to writing, and now is the most time I need to express myself… especially since I feel that my whole identity is being taken from me.. constantly.. daily..
There’s a part of me that is a big drama queen. That I know, but there’s also a big part of me that is a fighter. The past months have been heavy and tough, but I am managing to go through. And I am really glad that I am not alone in all this. As cliche as it sounds – and you know how I hate cliches – I always get comfort knowing that I have got you by my side, and I have got friends who still care. This is what matters.. inside this big materialistic giant world that I feel is trying to sneak into my soul more and more.
I wanted to write this blog post at first seeking revenge. Speaking of the last time I got beaten and how silly and absurd this whole situation is, but I guess, I know this would be just a temporary painkiller.
All I want to say, is that I am sick of pretending. I am sick of not being able to be who I am, not feeling safe among one’s family, and having to wonder when all this would end, and what kind of other compromises that one would have to make.