Bla bla.

I suck at this!

Feels like I’m learning how to write from scratch! Yet I promised myself to try hard.. so here I am trying.

I spent the day watching movies and playing this “Aliens Drive Me Crazy”. I got addicted to this stupid game. And now I started watching “The Office” season 1. I think John Krasinski is very very cute.

Anyways, note to self, I need to start planning how to make more use of my time while I’m not working. And I need to stop worrying about everything. It’s crazy not to, but in order to get anything done, one needs to work on doing more than talking about stuff.

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Outrageous!

It’s 1:35 am. I’m dying to write this blog post since I was at the office. Too many mixed feelings swirling my mind & heart with little time to focus on the important stuff. I’m too tired and sleepy yet I keep going. I promised myself I’d come back to writing, and now is the most time I need to express myself… especially since I feel that my whole identity is being taken from me.. constantly.. daily..

There’s a part of me that is a big drama queen. That I know, but there’s also a big part of me that is a fighter. The past months have been heavy and tough, but I am managing to go through. And I am really glad that I am not alone in all this. As cliche as it sounds – and you know how I hate cliches – I always get comfort knowing that I have got you by my side, and I have got friends who still care. This is what matters.. inside this big materialistic giant world that I feel is trying to sneak into my soul more and more.

I wanted to write this blog post at first seeking revenge. Speaking of the last time I got beaten and how silly and absurd this whole situation is, but I guess, I know this would be just a temporary painkiller.

All I want to say, is that I am sick of pretending. I am sick of not being able to be who I am, not feeling safe among one’s family, and having to wonder when all this would end, and what kind of other compromises that one would have to make.

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